I have been on a bit of a…photographic hiatus. Truthfully, I just haven’t felt like picking up a camera in months. I’ve brought it with me on a few occasions, maybe snapping off 3 frames total. I have been feeling like maybe I am not a photographer, that it’s time in my life has come to a close after nearly 10 years. 12 rolls of film sat on my shelf for a while. I decided to develop 8 of them and then the scans sat in Lightroom for a while, adding to my feelings of moving away from photography. Something has been bubbling and I recently scrolled through the scans I received in December. As I looked through these photographs, the larger vision began to reveal itself. Many of the photos in this series are neither technically impressive nor compositionally great in my view. I was feeling a bit discouraged that I wasn’t making great photographs. “It’s just a house”, “Oh cool dude, you photographed another rusty old car.” I felt like I had plateaued in my vision.

During this unintended hiatus I have been thinking of and feeling into what I want to do within photography. I have a few ideas of where I want to go, one of them being storytelling through collections of photos. I thought I needed to come up with a new project for myself and find something meaningful that would really connect with a wider audience, something that would connect deep within the human spirit. That’s what this is supposed to be…right? There it is again, that old pattern. “I have to do what others expect of me or what I perceive to be what I should do based on what I think others think.” Messy aint it?

I was missing the story in front of me. Well, the story of me…too close to the project. These photographs that may not stand out on their own begin to play a role in the narrative of the North & South Park areas of San Diego when grouped together. They tell the story of my life. This editing process, and in writing this post, has sparked a realization about this process of mine. It can be slow. Stepping away is okay. Rest is necessary. Brute force, shear grit, and pushing through is not always the most effective strategy.

A creative expression of some sort, perhaps a new iteration of my process, has been bubbling up. The first bubbles are starting to burst as they come to the surface. I am excited to observe how this evolves and represents itself, and I am just as excited to share with you. Thank you for being here. Stay tuned.